I won’t lie, I’ve kind of been looking forward to this. I hate Deadpool. I hate Deadpool a lot. He is simply not a well-designed character, and stories that center around him are just insufferable to me.

Yes, I liked the Deadpool movie, and even the Deadpool videogame was pretty fun, though I wouldn’t call it a great game. Rick Remender’s Uncanny X-Force made Deadpool a pretty likable character within the story, and it worked for the same reason the Deadpool film worked. He’s actually a character in that comic and the movie. He has arcs and goals and all those things that actual human beings have, whereas his own comic and most comics with him in them tend to be an aimless mess of in-jokes, fourth-wall breaking, and juvenile humor.

I liked Deadpool a lot when I was in middle school. I feel like that statement speaks for itself. I liked Deadpool when I was in middle school. His humor is so very juvenile. It can be summed up in fart-joke, lol-so-random-joke, and a declaration of “hey, aren’t comics so weird?”

I’m never going to say that superhero comics have ever been this bastion of maturity and transcendent storytelling. Like any literary form, you have your good stories and your bad. Superhero comic books in particular require a lot of suspension of disbelief and an acceptance of the ridiculous. However, you can only take the piss out of yourself enough before it’s hard to take anything you say seriously.

This is why, though Gerry Duggan’s Uncanny Avengers has had characters I like on the team like Steve Rogers, Quicksilver, and Brother Voodoo, I cannot get into the book because Deadpool is on the team. He’s too damn goofy and derails entire scenes just to make a stupid joke.

He’s also a bad character in from a narrative standpoint. He doesn’t have a range of emotions or a discernable personality beyond “Haha, aren’t I so random, fart, poop, I’m in a comic book.” If you were to give him a puppy then kill that puppy, he’s probably going to have the same reaction to each event. Plus, it’s hard to take his “serious” stories seriously, because he’s taken the piss out of himself and his environment so many times that any emotional tension dissolves because “Haha it’s just a comic who cares?” Also, the lack of a discernible plot in most comics kills tension too, because, well, you know, stories are needed.

Someone is likely going to read this and say “That’s the point.” And—yeah, that’s not incorrect. However, you should see why he’s unapproachable to me as a reader. I don’t think he’s funny. If I don’t think he’s funny, then I won’t be there for the comedy. So if he’s not funny and he’s not an interesting character and every serious story about him is sidetracked by the fact that his shtick prohibits any emotional weight…then why am I here? The answer—I’m not, because I won’t read any comics about him.

Also he’s a Rob Liefeld creation made to rip off Spider-Man, Wolverine, and Deathstroke the Terminator, all of which are infinitely better characters. So screw that.

 

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